Jewish matchmaking is a very old, and for many traditionally observant Jews, important aspect of Jewish culture and tradition. While it may seem an outdated custom in this, the 21 st century, it is still widely practiced, which may come as a surprise to many people. However, it is still alive and well, much to the benefit of Jews who feel it is important to maintain their culture and traditions in a society that is becoming increasingly fragmented. Although matchmaking has traditionally been most popular with Ultra-Orthodox and Orthodox Jews, increasing numbers of Jews of all denominations and even non-religious Jews are taking advantage of professional matchmakers to help them find their life mate. One reason that so many Jews still use matchmaking to find a spouse is to ensure that the Jewish community carries on and thrives. There are millions of Jews living all over the world, but not all live in an area that has a large Jewish population. It can be difficult to find others of a like mind in an area with few Jews, let alone ones who are single and looking for a partner themselves.
Tradition meets technology
For centuries, Jewish families seeking suitable mates for their daughters and sons have employed the services of a matchmaker, an honored figure in the community who acts as a counselor, a diplomat and a reliable source of neighborhood news. Nancy Granat, a former corporate manager with a degree in counseling, is a matchmaker for the new millennium. You have financial consultants,” said Granat, 59, a grandmother whose tools are a computer database and her intuition. While most matchmakers today serve the Orthodox Jewish community, seeking to match mates who will uphold the strictest interpretation of religious life, Granat is Baltimore’s first professional matchmaker serving Jews who are affiliated with other branches such as Reform or Conservative or who aren’t religious at all.
The catalyst for starting Jewish Personal Connections was the pervasive concern that intermarriage rates exceeding 50 percent threaten the future of the American Jewish community. Rabbi Floyd L.
She has tried matchmakers, popular in her circle, but most of them don’t give thought to the matches, ignoring her personal qualities and tastes.
Brooke, 30, an Orthodox woman divorced for six years, wants a meaningful relationship that will lead to marriage, but that is proving to be a challenge. Some even create fake profiles. In , being Orthodox no longer offers the security of ongoing community support, and for single millennials, finding a partner is a solitary pursuit. While Jewish communities still value marriage and family above all, the burden of coupling falls on the singles. Yossi, 32, and Shira Teichman, 31, a married Orthodox couple from Los Angeles have drawn on their life experiences to create a technological solution to this dilemma.
Together with life coach Shiffy,Lichtenstein, they are the co-creators of forJe a dating app for Jewish singles, like Brooke, who are seeking long-term relationships. He bemoans the shallowness of dating sites that promote pretty profiles and impressive job titles over internal gifts.
Over 50 and Looking for Love Online
The breakup had been painful, but Rivka was looking to get back on the dating circuit. But a matchmaker, of sorts, beckoned. And its merging of old-school and new-school technologies occupies a potent middle ground in a fast-changing Orthodox dating environment. On the new-school side of the equation stands Alan Avitan, a year-old businessman with a close-cropped beard and a ready smile who lives on the Upper West Side. On the more traditional side stands Tova Weinberg.
In fact, growing up in her Orthodox Jewish community, trying to lose weight was as routine as any other ritual. While Sara, now 25, says pressure to diet and lose weight came from various family members, the emphasis on being thin seemed to stem from a deeper, core obligation in the Orthodox community: getting married. According to the Pew Research Center , 68 percent of Orthodox Jews and 75 percent of Haredi the most traditionally observant Jews in America marry at the age of 24 or younger, compared to 33 percent of the overall population of Jewish Americans.
Data on eating disorders within the Jewish community, and especially the Orthodox community, is nearly impossible to find. A New York Times report cited an unpublished study of an Orthodox high school in Brooklyn, where eating disorders among girls in the school were reported to be about 50 percent higher than the national rate at the time. The Times also pointed to a study of students in Toronto, which found 25 percent of Jewish Canadian girls aged 13 to 20 suffered from clinically diagnosable eating disorders, compared to 18 percent of non-Jewish Canadian girls in the study sample.
The Jewish matchmaker
The world of dating can be rough. There are bars and parties, organized singles groups, websites and apps, swiping right and swiping left. Melamed believes matchmaking is in her blood. Originally from Boro Park in Brooklyn, Melamed says her mother has done matchmaking for decades. After high school, Chani herself, caught the bug and dabbled in matchmaking. She was successful and became a matchmaker with Saw You at Sinai, a dating and matchmaking website with an Orthodox bent, although it serves Jews of all backgrounds.
In Orthodox Jewish circles, single women are largely forgotten Within the community, this imbalance is called the shidduch (or matchmaking) crisis. “We feel Here’s why the Postal Service wanted to remove hundreds of.
With the world going virtual, several Yeshiva University students are undertaking a tough challenge during the pandemic: dating during coronavirus. Social distancing has limited singles from meeting easily, putting a strain on their dating lives. Several Jewish individuals have attempted dating alternatives such as Zoom speed events and Facebook group chats. Their service differs from typical shidduch matchmaking businesses.
Several years later, both as students in YU, they began to set people up on dates. They have already seen success — the first of their matches got engaged in May They started off small, writing names of potential matches down on a whiteboard. Since both are highly outgoing women who are involved in various communities of people their age, they found that pooling their lists of friends proved to be a very effective way to set people up.
Although some of their matches did not go past the first few dates, Ariella and Ahuva stayed motivated. After the coronavirus outbreak, the duo decided to expand their business virtually. The questions are related to general background and hashkafic lifestyle preferences, comfortability with coed events, personality traits that he possesses and ones he is looking for in a spouse, along with some out-of-the-box brain teasers.
While AZA is accepting people regardless of school or location, they mostly market towards YU students and alumni. The only caveat is that anyone who enters must be at least year-olds. The application form requires some basic information such as phone number and email, with an optional section of providing more information about dating and preferences.
Dating and Disordered Eating in the Orthodox Jewish Community
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This service schedules 6 high-quality mini dates for you, all on the same night, at an upscale NYC venue. The private matchmaking services start at $25, to.
Matchmakers are the traditional way to find a mate in the ultra-Orthodox Jewish community to which Mizrachi belongs. But she is not entirely traditional. Mizrachi is part of a growing number of ultra-Orthodox Jews in Israel who are seeking job skills, getting higher education or joining the military. And those changes are shaking up the community’s established customs for finding a spouse. On a practical level, to Mizrachi, being “modern ultra-Orthodox” means she wears long sleeves and long skirts, but also drives — something unmarried women in her community normally do not do.
She won’t attend mixed parties but bucked tradition by getting undergraduate and master’s degrees in social work. Most ultra-Orthodox women in Israel only finish religious high school.
In Orthodox Dating Scene, Matchmakers Go Digital
Before the coronavirus pandemic hit, Cedric DuBose of Houston was completing a nine-week online course called “Love Alchemy. At 48, DuBose, who works in research and development for a pharmaceutical company, had grown weary of looking for love on his own. He considered online dating a bust. And I’m not the hookup type. The more constructive approach has become a way forward for many matchmakers, first in the age of internet dating and now in the age of covid Lisa Clampitt is a founder and president in Manhattan of the Matchmaking Institute, which holds conferences and provides training for industry professionals.
In strictly Orthodox Jewish circles, dating is limited to the search for a marriage partner. Some engage in it as a profession and charge a fee for their services. Usually a professional matchmaker is called a shadchan but anyone who makes a.
To improve your visit to our site, take a minute and upgrade your browser. These women, professional shadchanim , or matchmakers, ask the men and women about their family connections and education, who they know, where they pray. The shadchanim dismiss their unmarried charges after the interviews, then huddle together in a dark room lined with ancient religious texts. Speaking in a mixture of English, Yiddish, and Hebrew, they rifle through their notes, searching for matches.
They are helping the men and women—especially the women—fulfill the primary social responsibility of their community: to get married. There are no dating websites, apps, or events. Marital aspirants meet almost exclusively through the intercession of s hadchanim like this group in Borough Park. A matchmaker—usually a woman, but men provide the service as well—finds a match and informs the parents on each side. If all goes well, the matchmaker makes an introduction.
Raisy was a plump woman with bright blue eyes visible through the bangs of the sandy-colored wig she wears per Orthodox tradition. She sat behind a desk cluttered with spiral notebooks, stacks of dating questionnaires, and an old desktop computer that contained her database of single ultra-Orthodox Jews. Raisy was initially reluctant to talk to me—Orthodox communities tend to be wary of outsiders, and a good shadchan should be discreet—but the difficulties of her job eventually began to tumble out.
The holy work of matchmaking, she said, had become so much harder of late.
New York Times Features Lubavitch Matchmaker & Other Orthodox Jews in the News
Your Name required. Your Email required. Your Message. I deal with older singles who are already in their 30s, 40s, 50s and beyond. The future is bright for these students and for all of Israel thanks to new institutions like this one established with great courage by Rabbi Bombach.
The Jewish matchmaker. Arranged marriage is usual for ultra-orthodox Jews and parents are keen to check out prospective partners and their.
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Israel’s Ultra-Orthodox Put Faith In Unorthodox Dating Service
Times have changed, and that is a good thing—especially the fading-away of cruel taboos that once stigmatized women who engaged in premarital sex or bore children out of wedlock. Thing is, times change for a reason. The values question assumes that sexual mores loosen naturally from conservative to liberal. In reality, these values have ebbed and flowed throughout history, often in conjunction with prevailing sex ratios.
Twenty-five national-religious Jewish matchmakers in Israel were interviewed. Findings show nessing a process whereby young adults in the Modern Orthodox com- tional-religious singles use Internet dating services and meet potential.
Sometimes the search for your bashert feels more like looking for the needle in a haystack. You need to expand your Jewish dating options, but time is a scarce, precious resource. Hiring a Jewish matchmaker to do all the legwork for you makes sense, but how do you find a good one? These 7 popular Jewish matchmaking sites and services should get you started in the right direction:.
There are two ways singles can use the service — as a paying client, or as an available match. Joining the database as an available match is free, and it only requires filling out an online application form. Sara Malamud has been in the Jewish matchmaking business since She focuses on active clients at any given time, and her fees typically run several thousand per year and include coaching services.
Joining the service requires submitting an application and then paying for a screening interview. The Discovery level allows your profile to be searchable in the database, but does not come with an active search.